{"id":174,"date":"2011-10-03T20:45:16","date_gmt":"2011-10-03T20:45:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.collaborativepracticechicago.com\/hp_wordpress\/archives\/174"},"modified":"2014-10-05T02:39:53","modified_gmt":"2014-10-05T02:39:53","slug":"there-is-only-one-divorce-process","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.collaborativepracticechicago.com\/hp_wordpress\/archives\/174","title":{"rendered":"There is only ONE Divorce Process"},"content":{"rendered":"

You may have heard people talk about litigation and mediation and Collaborative Practice.\u00a0 But actually those are processes that can be used to support you<\/em> in the<\/span><\/strong> divorce process.\u00a0 The Divorce Process remains the same in each of them.\u00a0 That process is one of making decisions.\u00a0 The decisions that have to be made determine your individual futures AND that of your children.<\/p>\n

In the end, only a judge can declare that you two are divorced.\u00a0 You remain married until that moment\u2026.no matter how much you may be ready for it to be otherwise, no matter what living arrangements you have, no matter what money may change hands between you\u2026.you are still married.\u00a0 In order for that judge to make that declaration, you and your soon-to-be-ex must agree on the required decisions.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t, the judge will have to make those decisions and you will both have to abide by whatever s\/he decides.<\/p>\n

Most people prefer to reach agreement on those decisions for themselves.\u00a0 And most of them do\u2026or at least reach a \u2018settlement\u2019.\u00a0 [fewer than 5% of divorce cases actually get \u201cdecided\u201d by a judge].\u00a0 But what kind of support do they get in making those decisions?\u00a0 That\u2019s where the different \u2018processes\u2019 I mentioned come into play.<\/p>\n

Collaborative Practice<\/h2>\n

\u2013 This approach openly acknowledges that it may not always be easy for you two to work together as your marriage comes to an end.\u00a0 It provides for not just attorneys, but also financial neutrals and mental health professions to be actively involved in sorting out the circumstances and in coaching you two through the difficulties.\u00a0 Your attorneys are left free to focus on crafting with you two the best ways to meet each of your, and your children\u2019s, post divorce needs.\u00a0 YOUR<\/strong><\/em> needs, not what someone else thinks you should need.\u00a0 And not what anyone else says you should \u2018want\u2019 or \u2018expect\u2019 or \u2018demand\u2019.\u00a0 You two and your professionals sit down together and help you determine those needs and how best to meet them.\u00a0 Everybody involved agrees in writing that there isn\u2019t even a judge involved until you two reach agreement on the decisions that you need to make.<\/p>\n

Mediation<\/h2>\n

\u2013 This approach also focuses on you two talking face to face with the support of a single person trying to help you do so.\u00a0 This person is supposed to be completely neutral and cannot advise either of you about \u2018the law\u2019 and may not even be allowed to draft any court papers for you.\u00a0 The support a mediator can give is mostly limited to helping you each to converse in a productive way.<\/p>\n

Litigation<\/h2>\n

\u2013 This is what most people think of when they hear the word \u2018divorce\u2019.\u00a0 A couple who can\u2019t or won\u2019t reach agreement.\u00a0 Their lawyers each try to get the judge to reach the decision that their respective client \u2018wants\u2019.\u00a0 And then, as it gets closer to the day the judge actually has to make that decision, both of them turn to their respective clients and urge them \u2018you should agree to\u2026\u201d something that the lawyers have \u2018worked out\u2019.<\/p>\n

These are very simplistic descriptions of each of these support processes.\u00a0 That is intentional, because none of them changes the actual Divorce Process itself.\u00a0 You and your soon-to-be-ex MUST<\/strong> reach agreement OR a judge will decide for you.\u00a0 The question that you have to address at the start is, how much and what kind of support will you need in order to work together to reach agreement?<\/p>\n

Collaborative Practice offers you the best option for whatever amount of support you need.\u00a0 If you have any reason to think things may get difficult in your divorce, I hope you will consider this very actively supportive approach.\u00a0 I hope so because decisions that YOU two work together to agree upon, will be much easier ones for you to continue to be able to live and work with\u2026even after that judge declares that you are divorced.<\/p>\n

Feel free to contact me with questions!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You may have heard people talk about litigation and mediation and Collaborative Practice.\u00a0 But actually those are processes that can be used to support you in the divorce process.\u00a0 The Divorce Process remains the same in each of them.\u00a0 That process is one of making decisions.\u00a0 The decisions that have to be made determine your … Continue reading There is only ONE Divorce Process<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":273,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aboutme","category-why-cp"],"yoast_head":"\nThere is only ONE Divorce Process - 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